There are few realizations worse than looking around and realizing you’re at a horrible concert in someone’s moldy basement with people who look like extras off the set of The Fifth Element. We’ve all been there.
You agreed to go to The Purple Thermometer Readers concert because you got free tickets and they sound like the type of band that’s going to be huge next year. When people ask you in 12 months if you’ve heard of them, you’ll be able to tell all your friends you’ve already seen them, describe the intimate setting, and rave about how much fun you had dancing the night away in a crowd of 17. We all love a great basement concert, right?
But you get there and instantly regret your decision. Maybe you anticipated a different crowd, or a different venue. Or, you thought The Purple Thermometer Readers were better than they actually were. Is the concert not as advertised and you realize you’ve instead walked into an awkward family concert/choir duet? You may have only accepted the invitation prematurely to get out of going to the movies with your in-laws. Whatever the case may be, you’re here now and you can’t leave because your ride loves these guys.
We are, again, here to help.
Step One: Change Your Surroundings
So, you don’t care for the venue. Does it remind you of a cesspool? Or a dirty church basement? Or perhaps, you are in a cesspool or dirty church basement. Sorry about your luck, but here is your solution: Step outside. Chances are, at least three people can relate with your struggle. Those three people will be outside looking desperate for someone to talk with to occupy their time and therefore justify not being indoors. They are your lifeline. Chat them up, ask them about their lives and tell them about yours. Talk about whatever can fill the next three hours until your friend is ready to drive you to safety.
Step Two: Re-Evaluate The Crowd
Everyone looks kind of crazy, but think of it this way: someone in that place has to be like you. Right? Find them. Take a look around the room and re-evaluate. Maybe you can stand somewhere else. Try looking close to the wall. Try heading towards the back. That’s where the normal people tend to camp out. Once you find someone that looks a little less Fifth Element-esque, stand next to them hold your spot.
Step Three: Focus on The Band, Not Their Music
Music is subjective, despite what you and/or your snobby friends might think. If you don’t care for The Purple Thermometer Readers, that’s your opinion. That doesn’t mean they’re terrible and it doesn’t mean there isn’t something you could possibly like about the band.
Try to focus on the people instead of the music. Bass players usually wear nice shoes, so give his a check. The guitar looks cool, right? And the lead singer’s voice isn’t bad. Plus, the entire band is wearing great jeans. Even if the music isn’t so great, you can still appreciate something about the band. You just have to be creative.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
If all else fails, we’re afraid you’ll just have to tough it out. You’ll come out of the cesspool or church basement alive and better off in the long run. Next time, you’ll think twice before agreeing to go see The Toxic Fabric Breathers at Bojo’s Garage Clubhouse.
